Yesterday after the church service they offered coffee and tea, so I went to get something to drink. I wasn't really trying to interact with people because I was feeling a little shy. I tend to be pretty outgoing, but sometimes it can be tiring - especially when you feel like you aren't getting anywhere. But there wasn't a spoon where I got my tea so I went to another table to grab one. While I stirred my tea, a woman said hello to me! Yay! She asked me how long I'd been coming to church, and when I told her I was an Au Pair from America she got excited and said that her friend was from America. When her friend was done talking with another person, I introduced myself and then the three of us chatted for a while. They were women I'm assuming were in their thirties or forties, but they were very nice and I really appreciate that they were willing to say hello to me. I told Angela (who had lived in California, Nebraska, and Colorado) about an English service I had gone to and that the next one is on the 13th, and if she can she's going to go with me! I exchanged numbers with both of them since Heika said that she has three kids ages 20, 19, and 18 and that her daughter(s?) might be interested in meeting me. Honestly, I'm taking any opportunities I can get.
Yesterday evening they had their once-monthly youth service. Esther went with me in the beginning but had somewhere else to go halfway through. We watched a video interview with Bono of U2, which was REALLY interesting. I had no idea he was a Christian and that all of his humanitarian efforts are really scripturally based. Anyway, afterwards we sat around the tables to discuss which was PERFECT. The age groups really ranged and there were mostly teenagers, but I had seen a table of college-age looking people which I quickly joined. They were really nice, as well, and complimented my German :) I had trouble following the conversation, but was mostly able to get the jist. After the Pastor formally closed the service, they sat around chatting for a bit, so I stayed, too. I left before they did, though, because it was getting dark and 1) I didn't know how to use the light on my bike, and 2) I hadn't ridden my bike so far alone yet. I'm really glad I went to the youth service, and really hope that I'll be able to develop friendships with some of the people I met there :)
In other exciting news, today we got a new bike for me! A new store opened and had lots of SUPER cheap stuff, including a bike for only €100. We had talked to one of Esther's friends about maybe taking her old bike, but she has mysteriously dropped off the face of the planet and isn't responding to phone calls or emails. We also saw a bike at a repair shop that would cost (according to Frank) about €60. I told Esther I would be happy to get the cheaper old bike, but Esther told me that she and Frank thought the new bike was a really good deal, since it was about the same cost as getting an old bike fixed... and it's new.
I tried to ride it, but the seat was WAY too high and we had to wait for the guy with the key to come back. They set it as low as possible and I think it's just right. I can't put my foot all the way on the ground, but I can actually steady myself with my foot while seated! YAY! It's also much lighter and easier to handle - I can actually turn with it!
Unfortunately, the pedals have brakes so I can't readjust the pedals like I would prefer, but when you move it back and forth (only for about a foot or so) the pedals go with so they're easier to adjust. It also doesn't have gears, so I guess that means my legs are just going to have to get stronger. DANG IT. Also, my brother once said about the old bike that the seat looked like it was pointed a little upwards... and after riding the new bike, I think he was right. Now I feel like I'm going to slip off! I think I'll easily get used to it, but it was kind of funny at first. Also, you have to lean over more when riding (my other one was meant for more leisurely riding) so now my arms are actually involved in the process. Weird.
Although the picture is blurry (from my already replaced old camera), please note my frowny face of dissatisfaction with the old bike.
My face isn't in the picture with the new bike, but it is assuredly more satisfied looking.
All in all, I'm VERY happy and excited! I think now we can put an attachment on my bike so I can take the kids in the "fahrrad anhanger" (I am drawing a total blank as to what it's called in English). Yay!
Lastly, odds are good that I'm going to Munich for Oktoberfest!! One of Jenny's good friends from Carleton, Emily, became a friend of mine, too (due to our mutual awesomeness, duh) and she's going to be there the weekend of September 25-27. She said she thinks they'll have room for me in their hotel room, but if not I will just have to get another one! I really was wanting to go to Oktoberfest (since I can't really go to Germany for only one year and NOT go) but was wondering who I would go with since I don't know anybody yet. Plus Esther will be taking the kids to visit her parents that weekend and Frank will be gone for a few days then, too. If that isn't the hand of God, I don't know what is! Emily will be flying into Prague, and while I'd love to go there, too, it will be there all year and Oktoberfest... well, won't.
So, pray that things will work out and Emily will let me come with :)
And that this bike works out well.
And that I'll make friends soon.
Okay, thanks!
LG,
~Julia~
First of all, the power cord on my computer no longer works and as a result my laptop is dead. LAME. I called HP and they gave me a number for HP Germany, but when I called yesterday they were CLOSED!! Something about resting on the weekends or some other ridiculous notion like that. Ergo, I am typing on Frank & Esther's laptop. A few big differences to consider:
-the Y is in the Z spot and vis versa
-the apostrophe is in a different place (replaced by an Ä) AND you need to use the shift key
-the shift and enter keys are in the right place, but are smaller and result in me hitting the <>
Update no. 2, and the one that is currently of greatest significance: Frank, Esther and I sat down and spoke together last night. Although they really hadn't discussed it together (since Frank was literally gone for the whole evening), Frank said that he felt that they had given their word to have me here and that he feels very strongly about keeping his word. So really, I believe the question of whether I will be moving families or not is officially answered: I WILL be staying with the Beckmann Family. I think the question still remains, however, if it will be for the whole year or slightly shortened (I'm thinking maybe until the end of January or early April - after my birthday.) It's something to consider, but I'm not sure if that will be necessary or not. I'm really hoping that Camp Crescendo will return this next year, and if that happens maybe it's a God thing for me to come back early... but we'll have to see. They did look at the letter from Germany (saying she needs to pay back her tuition fees) and they won't need to start paying back until next June at the latest. There we can praise God for working that out, because I believe it is a huge relief for Esther!
My bike riding really IS much better. My butt now only hurts WHEN I'm riding (and not every time I sit down) AND I can successfully get on and off almost without it tipping at all. Almost. I really do think that I should get a new bike, however, for the following reasons:
-it doesn't have any gear shifts, and when the wind blows in the opposite direction (which it already does when riding a bike) it is really difficult for me. I think they would be very helpful.
-the main brake is on the peddles and not with the hand, making it so that I can't adjust peddle position to make getting on the bike easier. If I don't remember to set the peddle positions before I dismount, then it is really tricky (and embarrassing) to get back on.
-the handlebars curve over my legs instead of sticking out to the sides, which makes turning surprisingly difficult.
-my current bike is rather heavy.
-it doesn't have a kickstand, but rather a weird thing that goes over the back tire and props it up... which is unfortunately prone to tipping.
Lastly, tonight Frank and I rode our bikes to a new English church service. Esther found out about it and thought it would be a good place for me to meet friends, which I have yet to do. I found it very encouraging and comforting since the structure was much more like what I'm used to and I knew the music. However, we got there only four minutes before it started (we left too late) and had to leave early because the speaker rambled (on and off his chosen topic) and we had to be back because Esther had an engagement elsewhere at 7. So I didn't actually meet anyone tonight, and because it's a new program from a local church it won't be offered every week. The next one is in three weeks, and I plan on coming back- though perhaps lacking in superb speakers, I think it will be a good place to meet people and worship God :)
So, in terms of prayer:
-That God will lead us to whatever solution he has for us in regards to me staying here.
-We're still establishing boundaries of my place in the house, like my authority with the kids and my roll as a family member in general.
-Please ask God to make his will for Esther clear, and that he will comfort her as she deals with money worries and depression. Please pray that she will find peace about ending her teacher's training, and hopefully find a solution that is pleasing to God and restores her joy.
-That I will make friends soon!! I haven't really had any opportunities to meet people my age, but I will start an evening language course to improve my German... so pray that I will meet new friends there! And hopefully also at the new English church service (even though it will be infrequent).
-That we will find a better bike at a good price!... SOON!
Okay. To bed.
Liebe Grüße (at least I can type that easily with this keyboard!)
~Julia~
First off, no new developments on my situation... so keep praying!
Today I FINALLY got to make cinnamon rolls! I'd thought about trying to make some for Simon's Geburtstag when the ones they made turned out a little dry, but then Esther said I could make them the following Saturday. I woke up on Saturday all excited to do it, but then Esther pointed out that since the weather was so great we should enjoy it outside. We went to a beautiful little lake with clear water that wasn't too cold and had a really nice afternoon (although now Simon is echt krank (really sick) and Esther is convinced it was because he got too cold in the water on Saturday... schade). Anyway, then I was going to make the cinnamon rolls on Wednesday, but that was the morning that Esther told me about her depression and that they don't really need me... so needless to say, I didn't get it done.I ran into one glitch while making my cinnamon rolls (and by my cinnamon rolls, I obviously mean Shane Maxey's cinnamon rolls)... they don't have brown sugar in Germany. I mean, they have raw brown sugar, but they don't have sweet, delicious, molasses brown sugar. SCHADE. Instead, they have this weird fluid brown sugar that is like molasses, but lighter like brown sugar. It tasted about right, and it was all I could use since you have to find brown sugar in a specialty store. It turned out okay, but it was pretty weird. When I rolled the dough it was really tricky because it was heavier than it should be and it was leaking out butter and the brown sugar goop.
Regardless, they ended up tasting just fine (a little drier than normal... any thoughts, Shane?) and we served them for an afternoon snack when Sara's friend Tim and his mom came over. (Tim fun fact: Sara is a little obsessed with all things babies at the moment, and has said before that she will have babies when she's 18. I told her you also need a husband to have babies, and she said "Yeah, and I thought maybe Marcel, but probably Tim. FUNNY :D )
I also had an small adventure in Combi, the closest grocery store to us. I happen to really like Combi, as it was the only store that I found that had Dill when I wanted to cook salmon, plus it's organized like a normal store!... as opposed to Lidl and Adli, which feels like alike items are barely grouped together.
Anyway, I thought it would be nice to make a good old-fashioned American pancake breakfast (aka pancakes made with buttermilk and eaten with maple syrup, NOT jelly). Unfortunately, the syrup was playing hard to get. I looked up and down EVERY isle (okay, except the pet food isle, I felt pretty safe there) and then I finally asked a stranger to help me. He was really nice, and though he also looked hard, he couldn't find it either.
When I finally gave up and checked out, I asked the lady and when she was like "Meinst du Nutella? Oder Zimtzucker?" I had to explain "syrup dass kommt aus ein Baum" "Ah, Ahornsirup!" and one lady in line said "Maple?" YES! ENGLISH! So the lady took me back to find it - it was with all the Bio products which I had passed already. I mean, Bio products! When I passed by I looked at them and thought "oh, this stuff is all healthy, it isn't here." WRONG. When I was walking back to check-out, the guy who had helped me saw me so I told him it where it was, and he showed me some other syrup he found with the marmalade... it was like zuckersirup or something like that, definitely not what I was looking for, but it was "sweet" (ha!) that he kept looking. Moral of the story, tomorrow morning we will be having buttermilk pancakes... once I get the recipe from my dad...
Lastly, I am now able to get onto a bicycle by peddling to get boosted onto the seat, but only if I have the peddles in JUST the right position and I straddle the bar first. Next goal: to begin peddling off to one side (aka from a NORMAL position and not only when I straddle the bar).
LG,
~Julia~
So I know it's been a long time since I've written, but something pretty big has happened.
Three days ago, Esther wrote me a letter saying that she isn't doing so well at the moment. She cancelled her teacher's training in the Spring because it was too hard to be away from her kids for the entire day, but she is really sad about not continuing because she wants to be a teacher. Also, teachers in Germany make BANK and with Frank as the only one earning money, they have to be very careful with what they do spend. They had thought that when Esther was a teacher, they would need and be able to afford an Au Pair.
However, Esther is not a teacher and is not currently working. Two days ago she got a letter in the mail from the State of Germany asking for their money back (since they paid for her to study to be a teacher and she hasn't continued.) She also heard of a family that she is (loosely) aquainted with who has had an Au Pair every year for the last six or seven years, but right now they have one that isn't working out.
Esther said that they like me a lot, but she is so worried about money (now for their house AND for her schooling) and they don't really need me. She thinks it might be a good idea for me to switch families, like maybe this other family who has two working parents. When she told me this yesterday at breakfast, she hadn't even mentioned it to Frank (who had been out of town for three days, and is today gone for another two). She said that maybe I could meet this family and decide, but if I don't want to I don't have to go and I can stay for the year.
We will have to see what happens, but obviously this is a big thing to pray about. I really don't want to switch families, but I feel awful contributing to a family's money troubles when I am all too familiar with how that feels. We will meet together Friday or Saturday evening (when Frank is back) to discuss the situation.
I really feel like God worked things out for me to be here with this specific family, but maybe he brought me here to support Esther as she deals with depression. I've gone through depression before and I know how it feels. Maybe that's why I'm here.
Here are options as I see it right now:
-Stay as is
-Move to the other family
-Stay a shorter amount of time (like maybe until January or March)
-Stay the full year with the family, but get a part-time job and only get paid from the family what hours I work
If you pray, please please pray for us right now. Please pray for Esther as she struggles with depression and feels like God isn't near her, and pray that God will make it clear to us what we need to do.
When I have more time (hopefully tomorrow) I will post things that are more fun and cute :)
LG,
~Julia~
Today I had a two separate bicycle adventures.
In the morning, Esther and I took Sara to her first day of kindergarten (which is MUCH different from America- besides the fact that they start at age 3, are allowed to start the first grade at their choice of age 6 or 7, and eat both breakfast & lunch at school, the teachers get them down to their undies to properly sunblock them... somehow, I feel like that wouldn't go over well in America... Anyway). In order to get off the bike you have to basically jump off while it's still going. I thought maybe I could try to get off the bike after it was stopped. This was, in fact, a bad idea. Instead of gracefully hopping down, the bike toppled over with me not fully dismounted. My right foot broke the fall of the bike, and STILL hurts. There were a couple of scratches but it is mostly just bruised and tender to the touch. When it happened, Sara said "Soll ich an pusten?!" At first I said no, but she insisted so I raised up my foot and she blew on it (which is what we do for the kids when they have an "owa"). It was actually very sweet, and she puffed out her cheeks which was suuuper cute. It still hurts real bad and I'm having trouble finding the line between reasonable and unreasonable concern for the well being of my foot.
My afternoon adventure was a much longer ride to the doctor's office (to get prescriptions since they won't take American prescriptions). Yesterday I was partially successful in my bike ride to the bank and back (by myself- hold your applause) so I felt pretty confident. When we come to crosswalks, I'm usually able to grab onto the light pole instead of dismounting and then struggling to get back on (since my biggest problem is actually getting ON the bike). However, we reached a crosswalk where I had to get off the bike for some reason, so when we got to the other side I had to get back on. There was a fence that I used to steady myself on the bike, but for some reason when I began to peddle I was unable to keep my balance and the bike tipped over. I tried a second time, and failed a second time. Frank said we should just walk, but I was so angry and frustrated that I insisted on trying a third time... and I failed a third time. So we walked the bikes.
It wasn't just frustrating (and it was very frustrating), but it was also humiliating. Bike lanes are on the sidewalks, but function like bike lanes in America on the street but are much wider- this is because there are probably 2/3 as many bikes as there are cars, meaning my failures were not private. It is so embarrassing to have people around when you fail, and especially when they are successfully achieving what you cannot. They have been riding their weird high-seated bicycles for their whole lives and I haven't ridden a normal bicycle in TEN YEARS. They don't know that, and they don't know that I'm foreign and that we have slightly different bicycles. All they know is there's some idiot girl who can't ride a bike. Or maybe they don't care. Funny how that works, but regardless of whether they're actually judging me or not, I'm judging me. And in case you were wondering, walking a bike is not less humiliating than falling over. I'm pretty sure it's code for "I am incapable of getting on this bicycle for some abnormal reason."
Frank said that I needed to be more patient with myself. I said "I'm not good at that," to which he responded, "I know (I've also been pretty hard on myself about not picking up the language quickly). Maybe it's something you can learn." He was not saying this in a rude or insulting way, but in an attempt to be helpful (when something goes wrong [like coming home from picking blueberries soaked to the skin] he always asks "How can I help?" but the answer is usually "You can't"). I know that I have very little patience with myself, but I'm pretty sure that learning a life lesson is probably the LAST thing anyone is interested in when they are, in fact, in need to learning a life lesson.
For what it's worth, Frank says the bike is really heavy which makes it difficult (I don't know what weight is normal for a bike) and that the handles (which go towards the legs and not out) do, in fact, make it harder to steer and it isn't just in my imagination. I cried to my Dad for 40 minutes in the middle of his work day (though after dinner here) and he thinks that we should look into getting a bike that is sized for me because it will make a big difference. I reeeally hope so.
Moral: my ego is as bruised as my foot.
Anyway- doctor was successful, have decided to stick with super old ghetto phone since the minutes are cheaper and I didn't have to buy it (came from Esther's brother Joachim) even though I would love to have a phone from this decade, I cleaned the upstairs and the main floor windows today, and am ready for beddy.
LG,
~Julia~
Seriously though, I'm pretty excited about this internet bit.
So I have successfully survived two weeks of what my dad called preparation for "no trace camping" in Sweden. Okay, so we had to "let yellow mellow" which is strictly against my personal policy and my fingernails were dirty beyond any attempt to clean them and the bugs were absolutely everywhere (did you know that snails eat raspberries?!)... but besides that, it really was a nice time! Esther (the mom) has two brothers, Jugend and Joachim, who joined us for the vacation and it was really nice to get to know them as well as the family. The weather was either warm and beautiful and perfect or completely wet and rainy, but regardless we managed to have a really nice time. Oh, minus a tic bite. NOT my favorite part of the trip.
What was nice is that the kids finally settled down. I talked with the parents one night and expressed my concerns that the kids were constantly crying to get their way. The parents agreed that it was a bit too much, but also reminded me that the kids were in a new environment without established boundaries and so it would take some getting used to. PLUS, Simon was determined to not wear his diaper which was only mostly successful (he wants to be grown up like his sister, but doesn't realize that his sister has developed bladder control both during the day AND night) and his parents had forgotten his binky which he still used at night. SO, it was a bit of a big stretch for him. Honestly though, once we settled into a bit of a rhythm the kids really were much better. Most evenings involved Simon coming out of bed because he had "bauch schmerz" (tummy ache) which was really his way of getting to sleep in his parents' bed, and when he was unsuccessful would think of as many things as possible to not go to bed. He would give up eventually, but was not pleased that adult life continued after he went to bed.
What was even nicer (yes, I think it outranks non-screaming children) was seeing DANIEL! YAAAY! It was so fun to see him, and the kids were DOLLS around him. Truly, they were on their best behavior I've seen yet and they absolutely adored him. He liked them okay, too ;) I found it funny that they got along so well without speaking a word of the same language (okay, not true- Sara knows how to say "yes" and "hello") but Daniel said that they spoke with "body language" - ie, him picking them up and spinning them in circles or growling at them like a lion, causing them endless boughts of giggles and fascination. I have the CUTEST picture of Sara and Daniel when we picked blueberries :) Daniel and I adventured around Stockholm where we took lots of pictures, ate lunch in an Irish pub (who knew it would feel so good to see the English language again!?) and went to Gröna Lund, Stockholm's theme park. Daniel got joy out of my fear of heights on the roller coasters, I got fear out of his eating hot dogs that fell on the ground, and we were both horrified and entertained at the fact that we had to be secured AND released from one of the rides as the fat Americans we both are. So depressing, SO funny. (For the record, it was only on the one ride and we were NOT the biggest people there. At ALL.) So, I think he's pretty great and think he should totally come to Germany before going back to the States... ;D
Um, I need to figure out medications, a cell phone, my bank card (I was expecting to receive a debit card from my new bank in the mail and instead received a sticker with a pin code?), and put all of my things away from Sweden. And probably some other things, too.
OH. I need advice on uploading photos online. Flickr has a pretty small limit unless you pay what I think is a little too big of a fee. Is snapfish any better? Is there another venue, or should I continue to sharing only via facebook?
Liebe Grüße,
~Julia~
