Lots of things have happened and will be happening (starting tonight) so I'm going to do my best to make this short and sweet:
Things that have happened:
-I participated in a "Kohlfahrt" (I recommend googling that or "gruenkohlessen" for an explanation of what that is. Just know that it was a family kohlfahrt which puts an interesting twist on the whole concept...)
-I celebrated my 23rd birthday and got to have sweets (liturgy allows you to break Lent on your birthday- hurray!). I celebrated with two of my Au Pair friends here, and we had a delightful time together. I'm actually excited about being 23, although I couldn't really explain why. Maybe since it gets me just a little bit closer to that last great milestone of being able to rent a car... who knows, but it's still exciting :)
-I have permanantly moved back into my original room (which is thankfully no longer an ice cavern of death) since the repairs to my bedroom and our kitchen have taken about twice as long as they had promised. AWESOME.
-Linus is starting to walk!!
Things that will happen:
-Tonight, a friend and I will go to Bremen for the night so we can take a SUPER early flight to Barcelona, Spain! We'll be there through Friday, just in time to come back to a full house of Hanno's sister, husband, and four kids who will be visiting for Easter.
-I will be moving to Italy at the end of May/beginning of June! I've found a host family outside Genoa in a little town called Liguria, and I'll be there exactly 90 days (since that's how long I'm able to stay without getting a Visa). Have no fears - I don't want to stay away forever, but I do want to milk this year for all I can. I planned to come to Europe for a year, and I wasn't prepared to leave after only 10 months... so now my trip has been extended for an extra month or so.
Alright, I've got to get going... so wish me luck in Spain, and I'll see you on the other side!
LG,
~Julia~
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Reflections On a March Morning
The sun crept through the bedroom window and fell gently upon Avril's alabaster skin. At first a soft sensation, the warmth built into into an uncomfortable heat, waking her from a deep and pleasant sleep. Avril slowly sat up in her bed, cherishing the last of sleep's fleeting moments upon her eyes. As they finally embraced the new day, her attention was drawn to the garden just outside her window. Her crystal blue eyes were lit with rapture as she spotted the tiniest new bud peaking its head through the still frozen earth. She reached for her shawl and, so as not to wake the others, tip-toed briskly to the kitchen door. With a heart full of joy she leaped into the yard to welcome Spring's triumphant return, but was then halted with a sharp and bitter breath.
Another deceptively cold morning, devoid of Spring's elusive splendor.
A friend of mine told me to reflect on the "gorgeous weather" we're having in the style of Anne Shirley. This is the best I could do, keeping in mind that my vocabulary is substantially less extensive than hers.
So, as to my life.
Well, to be fair, it certainly LOOKS warm outside, but it's assuredly colder than I would like. It's March and I don't live in Minnesota anymore, so I was kind of hoping for an early Spring. That, apparently, is too tall an order for Northern Minnesota. However, the snow is FINALLY melted (after two and a half months!) and Jakob is enjoying playing outside on our (former hayloft) "play plateau." It's brilliant! He gets fresh air, gets to ride his tractor, run around, and he can't get out (thank you, childproof gate door) so I can stay inside where it's WARM. I have gone on a few walks in the area, though, which has been really nice. There's a little side road that goes across the river behind us and between the fields, and beyond stepping aside for the occasional tractor you're have it all to yourself... which is excellent if you happen to enjoy singing aloud to your iPod :)
A few weekends ago I went to Mainz (situated on the Rhein where the Main river connects) to visit Hanno's parents. It was during Karneval, which is celebrated by all the cities along the Rhein. It's like a five day festival right before Lent (Fastenzeit) begins, but it's based in politics. It even has official colors, which are blue, white, red (as in the French flag) and yellow. Not that I can tell you exactly why, but it's got something to do with the French Revolution and... what a good idea it was? Okay, officially not a German history buff. HOWEVER, this is the time of year when Germans wear costumes- NOT Halloween. Halloween is an American holiday brought overseas to make money, and the Germans don't really dig it... and probably because they have their own costume holiday, and they don't need our stupid candy holiday because theirs has alcohol. Probably.
Anyway, the first night we went over to a "party" at friend's from Hannos where they were watching a live show that was happening in Mainz. It involved some sort of counsel, a jester, and several other people to give (what I'm sure was very witty and relevant) political commentary. Every time somebody said something even REMOTELY funny and/or pertinant, the band blasted one note- BAAAAH. Also, apparently each city on the Rhein has their own greeting for the Karneval zeit. In Mainz it's "Helau!" which is really only yelled in threes. Lets be honest, I was starting to crack. However, Hanno then introduced me to a girl who is from the Ukraine and first came to Germany as an Au Pair, but then stayed to go to University and has been there for seven years now. She invited me out the next night, and even gave me cat ears and drew whiskers on my face to help me blend in the with the crowd :) We had a really great time, even if every bar DID have a cover charge (eight bars went in together for a 10 Euro cover that would let you into all eight bars. We only went to two, but it was worth it... otherwise we wouldn't have had anywhere to go). We then found our way to a Döner restaurant where I heard someone singing the Canadian national anthem (which I learned for a play I did in college). I began singing along, and thusly introduced myself to a Canadian. We then sang the Canadian national anthem very loudly, called each other North American sisters while sliding backhanded compliments at each other's country, and spoke English faster than either of us probably had in several days (due to lack of native English speakers). It was bizarre, and glorious.
So, for Lent I decided to do a double whammy this year. Not only did I give up sweets (ice cream, chocolate, gummy bears, muffins, gummy bears, cookies, gummy bears... etc.) but I also decided to ADD something for Lent! I bought a daily devotional book back in November, and as of the beginning of Lent I was up to January 6th (having started at January 1st)... so I decided to add a daily devotional to my Lenten challenge. I actually was going to try to add going on a half hour walk every day, but that didn't work out. But come on, two things is still pretty impressive, right??
Exciting news! A friend and I (a Canadian Au Pair in Oldenburg) have booked our tickets and will be going to Barcelona March 28-April 2! I am SO excited, and even though I don't speak more than five words of Spanish, I am really excited to pick up a dictionary there and attempt to communicate! SWEET! We were going to try couch surfing, but we didn't get any responses so we just went with a cheap hostel :)
Confession (this one's for you, Grandpa): My time with this family ends in May, but I've been putting off calling my grandpa about buying a plane ticket home... because I'm hoping to find a family for the summer in the London area. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten any positive responses yet, and I know that I need to buy a ticket soon if I'll be coming back at the end of May/beginning of June (travel time!) My dream is to live in London, but I don't want to be gone another year. I figure, I was going to be gone until the middle of the summer anyway, so why not just go until August or September and then come home? Of course, ideally I wouldn't be there as an Au Pair... however, I's po and can't afford to stay there any other way. Yesterday the thought occurred to me that although I'm hoping/planning to visit both Italy and Greece before coming back, maybe I should consider those two countries for the summer. Who knows, it could be an amazing, exotic experience. There is, of course, the language barrier... because unless we communicate only in art songs, I don't speak Italian, and I CERTAINLY don't know a word of Greek. But maybe that would be good, right? Pick up a third language?? Or, you know, a few phrases here and there.
So, in terms of prayer requests, I would ask that you all pray for my post-Germany plans! Matthew 6:25-34 has helped me so much in the past few months, and I know that I can give God my worries so that he will work things out according to his plan. I do, however, need to figure out what he wants me to do. My plan is to explore all opportunities and let him open the doors I'm supposed to go through. But I could use some prayer help :)
Final thought: I TOTALLY found a gray hair today. To my own surprise, it didn't make me freak out about getting old (*reminder- my birthday is in 17 days! I'll be 23!!*)... it actually made me feel kind of... mature? Weird.
Okay, bis später!
Liebe Grüße,
~Julia~
Another deceptively cold morning, devoid of Spring's elusive splendor.
A friend of mine told me to reflect on the "gorgeous weather" we're having in the style of Anne Shirley. This is the best I could do, keeping in mind that my vocabulary is substantially less extensive than hers.
So, as to my life.
Well, to be fair, it certainly LOOKS warm outside, but it's assuredly colder than I would like. It's March and I don't live in Minnesota anymore, so I was kind of hoping for an early Spring. That, apparently, is too tall an order for Northern Minnesota. However, the snow is FINALLY melted (after two and a half months!) and Jakob is enjoying playing outside on our (former hayloft) "play plateau." It's brilliant! He gets fresh air, gets to ride his tractor, run around, and he can't get out (thank you, childproof gate door) so I can stay inside where it's WARM. I have gone on a few walks in the area, though, which has been really nice. There's a little side road that goes across the river behind us and between the fields, and beyond stepping aside for the occasional tractor you're have it all to yourself... which is excellent if you happen to enjoy singing aloud to your iPod :)
A few weekends ago I went to Mainz (situated on the Rhein where the Main river connects) to visit Hanno's parents. It was during Karneval, which is celebrated by all the cities along the Rhein. It's like a five day festival right before Lent (Fastenzeit) begins, but it's based in politics. It even has official colors, which are blue, white, red (as in the French flag) and yellow. Not that I can tell you exactly why, but it's got something to do with the French Revolution and... what a good idea it was? Okay, officially not a German history buff. HOWEVER, this is the time of year when Germans wear costumes- NOT Halloween. Halloween is an American holiday brought overseas to make money, and the Germans don't really dig it... and probably because they have their own costume holiday, and they don't need our stupid candy holiday because theirs has alcohol. Probably.
Anyway, the first night we went over to a "party" at friend's from Hannos where they were watching a live show that was happening in Mainz. It involved some sort of counsel, a jester, and several other people to give (what I'm sure was very witty and relevant) political commentary. Every time somebody said something even REMOTELY funny and/or pertinant, the band blasted one note- BAAAAH. Also, apparently each city on the Rhein has their own greeting for the Karneval zeit. In Mainz it's "Helau!" which is really only yelled in threes. Lets be honest, I was starting to crack. However, Hanno then introduced me to a girl who is from the Ukraine and first came to Germany as an Au Pair, but then stayed to go to University and has been there for seven years now. She invited me out the next night, and even gave me cat ears and drew whiskers on my face to help me blend in the with the crowd :) We had a really great time, even if every bar DID have a cover charge (eight bars went in together for a 10 Euro cover that would let you into all eight bars. We only went to two, but it was worth it... otherwise we wouldn't have had anywhere to go). We then found our way to a Döner restaurant where I heard someone singing the Canadian national anthem (which I learned for a play I did in college). I began singing along, and thusly introduced myself to a Canadian. We then sang the Canadian national anthem very loudly, called each other North American sisters while sliding backhanded compliments at each other's country, and spoke English faster than either of us probably had in several days (due to lack of native English speakers). It was bizarre, and glorious.
So, for Lent I decided to do a double whammy this year. Not only did I give up sweets (ice cream, chocolate, gummy bears, muffins, gummy bears, cookies, gummy bears... etc.) but I also decided to ADD something for Lent! I bought a daily devotional book back in November, and as of the beginning of Lent I was up to January 6th (having started at January 1st)... so I decided to add a daily devotional to my Lenten challenge. I actually was going to try to add going on a half hour walk every day, but that didn't work out. But come on, two things is still pretty impressive, right??
Exciting news! A friend and I (a Canadian Au Pair in Oldenburg) have booked our tickets and will be going to Barcelona March 28-April 2! I am SO excited, and even though I don't speak more than five words of Spanish, I am really excited to pick up a dictionary there and attempt to communicate! SWEET! We were going to try couch surfing, but we didn't get any responses so we just went with a cheap hostel :)
Confession (this one's for you, Grandpa): My time with this family ends in May, but I've been putting off calling my grandpa about buying a plane ticket home... because I'm hoping to find a family for the summer in the London area. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten any positive responses yet, and I know that I need to buy a ticket soon if I'll be coming back at the end of May/beginning of June (travel time!) My dream is to live in London, but I don't want to be gone another year. I figure, I was going to be gone until the middle of the summer anyway, so why not just go until August or September and then come home? Of course, ideally I wouldn't be there as an Au Pair... however, I's po and can't afford to stay there any other way. Yesterday the thought occurred to me that although I'm hoping/planning to visit both Italy and Greece before coming back, maybe I should consider those two countries for the summer. Who knows, it could be an amazing, exotic experience. There is, of course, the language barrier... because unless we communicate only in art songs, I don't speak Italian, and I CERTAINLY don't know a word of Greek. But maybe that would be good, right? Pick up a third language?? Or, you know, a few phrases here and there.
So, in terms of prayer requests, I would ask that you all pray for my post-Germany plans! Matthew 6:25-34 has helped me so much in the past few months, and I know that I can give God my worries so that he will work things out according to his plan. I do, however, need to figure out what he wants me to do. My plan is to explore all opportunities and let him open the doors I'm supposed to go through. But I could use some prayer help :)
Final thought: I TOTALLY found a gray hair today. To my own surprise, it didn't make me freak out about getting old (*reminder- my birthday is in 17 days! I'll be 23!!*)... it actually made me feel kind of... mature? Weird.
Okay, bis später!
Liebe Grüße,
~Julia~
Friday, January 29, 2010
Ich bin noch hier!
I realize it has been far too long since I've posted, but I can safely say that life has been nothing short of busy.
I moved in with my new family on January 6th. I am just so grateful to be in this new environment! I get along really well with the kids (Jakob, 3 and Linus, 9 mos.) and seem to both really like me. Jakob is just starting to realize that he has to share his toys with his brother, which has led to several instances of Jakob having to play by himself since he can't play well with others. The parents here (Doris and Hanno) actually agree with (or are at least okay with) my tough love with the kids and have said that I'm good with the kids - even when I'm being firm with them! Even though I've been firm with him, Jakob still really seems to like me and tries to learn from the past! He's getting better at using "bitte" (please) without me prompting him, and he doesn't tend to make the same mistakes over again (except, of course, taking toys out of Linus' hand... or mouth...)
It just feels really good to have the parent's support. It's just so different than at my last house. They've taught Jakob to ask if he's allowed to leave the dinner table ("darf ich bitte auf stehen"), and one day he asked me. I said he had to ask his parents, but Hanno told me that I'm an adult in this house and it's okay for me to decide if he can or can't. Usually he just needs to have taken a few more bites (if there's anything left on his plate), finish his drink, and maybe we'll offer him a yogurt (kid loves his yogurt). It's just SO different from before, and so nice to feel trusted and like I'm actually an adult in the house who is there to help with the kids. It feels so nice to be trusted and respected like that.
I do have to say that being an Au Pair does tend to bring out my imperfections... namely that of my tardiness. I've run into a few scrapes here with that, and although it's extremely embarrassing and makes me feel completely ashamed, I appreciate that they're willing to tell me up front. We don't need to have weekly meetings because they tell me how they feel. They just give me a printed schedule over the weekend (which I actually don't have to work during!) and let me know if there's anything particular I need to know. I have made a few really dumb mistakes here and there, but even though it's thoroughly humbling, in the long run it helps me grown. Sometimes, though, I get afraid that I'm not good enough and I feel like a red-headed step child (not because of them, but because of the stupid things I do).
So here are a few highlights of the last few weeks:
-I spent the first week or so in the guest room (house is being renovated downstairs and my room didn't have a door). The heat has had several problems which are now resolved, but during that first week I was living in the ice cavern of death.
-I went to London!! It was magnificent. I just adore that city so much it's out of control. I saw four shows, met with friends from Olaf studying theatre there for a month (which I did in January 2007), met another friend who I graduated with who's studying music composition outside of London, and met a new friend! My dad has been telling me for several months that there's a Rotary Scholar from his club studying there and she had a free bed... so I emailed her a week before I was coming and asked if she was interested in hosting a perfect stranger. To my surprise and delight, she said yes!! We got along really well and I'm so grateful to her! I enjoyed wandering around London and getting to know the city better, and I was reminded of how much I really do love that city, and how much I would love to stay there for an extended period of time...
-I moved into my new room!
-The renovated kitchen was ready to be used and we moved everything downstairs!
-The heating, which had been poorly functioning, began not functioning at all throughout the whole house. We spent a day over at Doris' parent's house because it was so cold.
-The heating was fixed, but the pipe leading to the upstairs bathroom froze.
-The frozen pipe warmed up, and then burst during the night... and flooded our new kitchen. I was awoken at 7:20, and the pipe was fixed around 9. However, the water caused a good amount of damage, and not only to the kitchen. My room is adjacent to the kitchen, and accordingly received a small amount of damage. The water seeped through the wall and soaked half of my floor. The water followed the paramater of the room and even managed to sneak it's way into the ceiling and wall of the room on the other side of mine.
-I have moved back into the ice cavern of death, which although not as cold as before is still assuredly quite cold. A few days ago it was a mere 57 degrees, but it's now up to a whopping 64. Trust me - as anybody in Minnesota will tell you, the difference those degrees make is pretty huge. And maybe you're thinking to yourself "64 degrees sounds pretty warm to me," just remind yourself there's a difference between 64 degrees in the Spring and 64 degrees in your bedroom.
-We have been using the upstairs kitchen (although bringing our dishes downstairs to the dishwasher), but will now have to move back upstairs as the repairs will take 2-3 weeks. They might have the dishwasher brought upstairs in the meantime.
-I have turned a friend of mine into a fan of Anne of Green Gables. If nothing else were to come of my time here, at least I know I've changed one life for the better ;)
Quite the few weeks, right?
I have tomorrow off, mainly because Hanno will be gone Thursday and Friday and I will working all day those two days. Wish me luck...
Liebe Grüße!
~Julia~
I moved in with my new family on January 6th. I am just so grateful to be in this new environment! I get along really well with the kids (Jakob, 3 and Linus, 9 mos.) and seem to both really like me. Jakob is just starting to realize that he has to share his toys with his brother, which has led to several instances of Jakob having to play by himself since he can't play well with others. The parents here (Doris and Hanno) actually agree with (or are at least okay with) my tough love with the kids and have said that I'm good with the kids - even when I'm being firm with them! Even though I've been firm with him, Jakob still really seems to like me and tries to learn from the past! He's getting better at using "bitte" (please) without me prompting him, and he doesn't tend to make the same mistakes over again (except, of course, taking toys out of Linus' hand... or mouth...)
It just feels really good to have the parent's support. It's just so different than at my last house. They've taught Jakob to ask if he's allowed to leave the dinner table ("darf ich bitte auf stehen"), and one day he asked me. I said he had to ask his parents, but Hanno told me that I'm an adult in this house and it's okay for me to decide if he can or can't. Usually he just needs to have taken a few more bites (if there's anything left on his plate), finish his drink, and maybe we'll offer him a yogurt (kid loves his yogurt). It's just SO different from before, and so nice to feel trusted and like I'm actually an adult in the house who is there to help with the kids. It feels so nice to be trusted and respected like that.
I do have to say that being an Au Pair does tend to bring out my imperfections... namely that of my tardiness. I've run into a few scrapes here with that, and although it's extremely embarrassing and makes me feel completely ashamed, I appreciate that they're willing to tell me up front. We don't need to have weekly meetings because they tell me how they feel. They just give me a printed schedule over the weekend (which I actually don't have to work during!) and let me know if there's anything particular I need to know. I have made a few really dumb mistakes here and there, but even though it's thoroughly humbling, in the long run it helps me grown. Sometimes, though, I get afraid that I'm not good enough and I feel like a red-headed step child (not because of them, but because of the stupid things I do).
So here are a few highlights of the last few weeks:
-I spent the first week or so in the guest room (house is being renovated downstairs and my room didn't have a door). The heat has had several problems which are now resolved, but during that first week I was living in the ice cavern of death.
-I went to London!! It was magnificent. I just adore that city so much it's out of control. I saw four shows, met with friends from Olaf studying theatre there for a month (which I did in January 2007), met another friend who I graduated with who's studying music composition outside of London, and met a new friend! My dad has been telling me for several months that there's a Rotary Scholar from his club studying there and she had a free bed... so I emailed her a week before I was coming and asked if she was interested in hosting a perfect stranger. To my surprise and delight, she said yes!! We got along really well and I'm so grateful to her! I enjoyed wandering around London and getting to know the city better, and I was reminded of how much I really do love that city, and how much I would love to stay there for an extended period of time...
-I moved into my new room!
-The renovated kitchen was ready to be used and we moved everything downstairs!
-The heating, which had been poorly functioning, began not functioning at all throughout the whole house. We spent a day over at Doris' parent's house because it was so cold.
-The heating was fixed, but the pipe leading to the upstairs bathroom froze.
-The frozen pipe warmed up, and then burst during the night... and flooded our new kitchen. I was awoken at 7:20, and the pipe was fixed around 9. However, the water caused a good amount of damage, and not only to the kitchen. My room is adjacent to the kitchen, and accordingly received a small amount of damage. The water seeped through the wall and soaked half of my floor. The water followed the paramater of the room and even managed to sneak it's way into the ceiling and wall of the room on the other side of mine.
-I have moved back into the ice cavern of death, which although not as cold as before is still assuredly quite cold. A few days ago it was a mere 57 degrees, but it's now up to a whopping 64. Trust me - as anybody in Minnesota will tell you, the difference those degrees make is pretty huge. And maybe you're thinking to yourself "64 degrees sounds pretty warm to me," just remind yourself there's a difference between 64 degrees in the Spring and 64 degrees in your bedroom.
-We have been using the upstairs kitchen (although bringing our dishes downstairs to the dishwasher), but will now have to move back upstairs as the repairs will take 2-3 weeks. They might have the dishwasher brought upstairs in the meantime.
-I have turned a friend of mine into a fan of Anne of Green Gables. If nothing else were to come of my time here, at least I know I've changed one life for the better ;)
Quite the few weeks, right?
I have tomorrow off, mainly because Hanno will be gone Thursday and Friday and I will working all day those two days. Wish me luck...
Liebe Grüße!
~Julia~
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Heading in a New Direction
Okay, so after having looked back at the things I've written in the last post, I need to learn how NOT to tangent. I've always been a great teller of long tales without big endings, but I seriously need to figure out how to condense my stories.
Here's the newest update:
I have chosen a new host family. They are a family of four with parents Hanno and Doris, and the two kids Jakob (2.5) and Linus (8 mos.) In retrospect, a tad frightening as that is two, count 'em TWO little kids in diapers AND, they're both boys. Due in large part to the Aspaas family, I have extensive experience with wee girls... but Simon is the youngest boy I've ever looked after, and praise be to God he's potty trained... does potty training sound like an inappropriate term for a human to anyone else? Anyway...
The main reason for choosing this family is because they are in the town of Berne, which is only about 30 minutes away by car from Oldenburg. This means that:
-I can continue to go to the same church
-I can continue to sing in the church choir
-I can continue to see the kids every once in a while!
-I can continue to hang out with the friends I've made here. Less often, but I won't have to start from scratch in the friend department.
Other important points include:
-I will have the use of a car
-I will have a slightly larger room and sole use of a bathroom
-I will have more flexibility to travel
-I will have NO HOUSEHOLD CHORES (except for the standard dishes, helping set the table, cleaning my room, etc)
I will only be with the family until May when they will receive another Au Pair from Texas. However, they HAVE offered to let me leave my stuff there so I can take some time to travel around Europe! This means that I should be home sometime around mid to late June- just in time for a full circle family Fourth of July ;)
My current (but not for long!) host family was gone this past weekend to Hamburg, but before they left we agreed that for as long as I would be with them in January, it would be for the best if I stayed as a guest- receiving no money and no corresponding chores. However, they seemed to think it best if they got their money's worth for December, so on the night of the 30th I came home to a list of chores they had out for me. Just the weekly chores (vacuuming, mopping, cleaning the bathroom, ironing, folding the wash)... but they left it for me to do with only ONE day left in December. I was (and frankly still am) so frustrated, angry, and offended that they would leave me two days worth of chores to do on New Year's Eve. Either they figured a couple hours of chores wasn't too much to ask on a holiday, even if they were gone, or that it wouldn't be a big deal for me to do some housework in January, unpaid. I debated for three days on whether or not to do the chores, including lots of crying and talking to my dad. My dad, however, was doing his job and led me in the Godly direction, and not in the petulant immature angry child direction... so in the end, I did the chores (even if there were a few angry grunts here and there). But for clarification purposes, it wasn't the contents of the list that made me angry, it's that they expected it of me after they had said that I would be living with them as a non-working guest for the rest of my time. I guess they wanted their money's worth while I was still on their dime.
Yesterday when they got back, both of the kids were really excited to see me. Sara has told me that she loves me several times, and that she's sad that I'm leaving. Simon has also said on several occasions that he likes me a lot ("Ich mag dich ganz gern") but last night was the first time he said he loved me. I said I loved him, too, and asked for a kiss... which he of course refused so I had to fight for it, but after some teasing and tickling I got my kiss :)
Tonight at dinner Frank and Esther asked me if I wanted to do something, and I said no. On the one hand, they don't know how angry I felt at them for leaving me a list of chores... but on the other, I AM hurt and upset, and I don't want to be around them more than I have to. As pointed out by my wise father, the best thing for me to do would be to try to reestablish a pleasant relationship with them... but DANG IT sometimes the right thing is HARD. We have pleasantries, and although I told them tonight that it's still difficult for me to live here, I did my best to participate in small talk, plus I helped set and clear the table. I'm not trying to be rude, but I also don't have the energy to go out of my way to be personal anymore. I also don't want to tell them how I feel, because the LAST thing I want is another serious conversation... I just want to keep my head down and power through.
Thankfully, the light at the end of the tunnel isn't far off- I spoke with Hanno (new host dad) and I will get to move in with them on WEDNESDAY!! I know that's really soon, but as far as I can see, the sooner the better. He offered to get me tomorrow, but I figured it would be for the best if I had one more day to say goodbye to the kids. Even if I feel like running out of here, I don't exactly want to give out that impression. My goal is to remain respectful, and not make things any worse than they already are.
SO- I have officially updated you (in bits and pieces) of what my life looks like right now. I would just like to say that it means so much to me to have the support of my friends and family. I know it seems cheesy and cliche, but it really is true. I also know that, despite everything, God has still been here for me. Shane Maxey once said (a long, LONG time ago when they first came to First Baptist) that "God makes you, breaks you, and puts you back together again." I've definitely been broken before, and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. If it hadn't been for all of the difficult things I've already dealt with in my life, I would be a hopeless wreck right now. Somehow, I have come out the other side stronger.
I started reading a daily devotional while I've been here, and although I started it in November and I'm only on day 6, I've still taken away a few gems, including this one: "You do not know what you are going to do; the only thing you know is that God knows what He is doing." Well I sure don't know what I'm doing, but I'm willing to have the faith that God does.
I know I'm not the only one dealing with life right now. If there's anybody who needs a word of encouragement, I hope this helps you as much as it helped me:
"Do Not Worry
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
Here's the newest update:
I have chosen a new host family. They are a family of four with parents Hanno and Doris, and the two kids Jakob (2.5) and Linus (8 mos.) In retrospect, a tad frightening as that is two, count 'em TWO little kids in diapers AND, they're both boys. Due in large part to the Aspaas family, I have extensive experience with wee girls... but Simon is the youngest boy I've ever looked after, and praise be to God he's potty trained... does potty training sound like an inappropriate term for a human to anyone else? Anyway...
The main reason for choosing this family is because they are in the town of Berne, which is only about 30 minutes away by car from Oldenburg. This means that:
-I can continue to go to the same church
-I can continue to sing in the church choir
-I can continue to see the kids every once in a while!
-I can continue to hang out with the friends I've made here. Less often, but I won't have to start from scratch in the friend department.
Other important points include:
-I will have the use of a car
-I will have a slightly larger room and sole use of a bathroom
-I will have more flexibility to travel
-I will have NO HOUSEHOLD CHORES (except for the standard dishes, helping set the table, cleaning my room, etc)
I will only be with the family until May when they will receive another Au Pair from Texas. However, they HAVE offered to let me leave my stuff there so I can take some time to travel around Europe! This means that I should be home sometime around mid to late June- just in time for a full circle family Fourth of July ;)
My current (but not for long!) host family was gone this past weekend to Hamburg, but before they left we agreed that for as long as I would be with them in January, it would be for the best if I stayed as a guest- receiving no money and no corresponding chores. However, they seemed to think it best if they got their money's worth for December, so on the night of the 30th I came home to a list of chores they had out for me. Just the weekly chores (vacuuming, mopping, cleaning the bathroom, ironing, folding the wash)... but they left it for me to do with only ONE day left in December. I was (and frankly still am) so frustrated, angry, and offended that they would leave me two days worth of chores to do on New Year's Eve. Either they figured a couple hours of chores wasn't too much to ask on a holiday, even if they were gone, or that it wouldn't be a big deal for me to do some housework in January, unpaid. I debated for three days on whether or not to do the chores, including lots of crying and talking to my dad. My dad, however, was doing his job and led me in the Godly direction, and not in the petulant immature angry child direction... so in the end, I did the chores (even if there were a few angry grunts here and there). But for clarification purposes, it wasn't the contents of the list that made me angry, it's that they expected it of me after they had said that I would be living with them as a non-working guest for the rest of my time. I guess they wanted their money's worth while I was still on their dime.
Yesterday when they got back, both of the kids were really excited to see me. Sara has told me that she loves me several times, and that she's sad that I'm leaving. Simon has also said on several occasions that he likes me a lot ("Ich mag dich ganz gern") but last night was the first time he said he loved me. I said I loved him, too, and asked for a kiss... which he of course refused so I had to fight for it, but after some teasing and tickling I got my kiss :)
Tonight at dinner Frank and Esther asked me if I wanted to do something, and I said no. On the one hand, they don't know how angry I felt at them for leaving me a list of chores... but on the other, I AM hurt and upset, and I don't want to be around them more than I have to. As pointed out by my wise father, the best thing for me to do would be to try to reestablish a pleasant relationship with them... but DANG IT sometimes the right thing is HARD. We have pleasantries, and although I told them tonight that it's still difficult for me to live here, I did my best to participate in small talk, plus I helped set and clear the table. I'm not trying to be rude, but I also don't have the energy to go out of my way to be personal anymore. I also don't want to tell them how I feel, because the LAST thing I want is another serious conversation... I just want to keep my head down and power through.
Thankfully, the light at the end of the tunnel isn't far off- I spoke with Hanno (new host dad) and I will get to move in with them on WEDNESDAY!! I know that's really soon, but as far as I can see, the sooner the better. He offered to get me tomorrow, but I figured it would be for the best if I had one more day to say goodbye to the kids. Even if I feel like running out of here, I don't exactly want to give out that impression. My goal is to remain respectful, and not make things any worse than they already are.
SO- I have officially updated you (in bits and pieces) of what my life looks like right now. I would just like to say that it means so much to me to have the support of my friends and family. I know it seems cheesy and cliche, but it really is true. I also know that, despite everything, God has still been here for me. Shane Maxey once said (a long, LONG time ago when they first came to First Baptist) that "God makes you, breaks you, and puts you back together again." I've definitely been broken before, and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. If it hadn't been for all of the difficult things I've already dealt with in my life, I would be a hopeless wreck right now. Somehow, I have come out the other side stronger.
I started reading a daily devotional while I've been here, and although I started it in November and I'm only on day 6, I've still taken away a few gems, including this one: "You do not know what you are going to do; the only thing you know is that God knows what He is doing." Well I sure don't know what I'm doing, but I'm willing to have the faith that God does.
I know I'm not the only one dealing with life right now. If there's anybody who needs a word of encouragement, I hope this helps you as much as it helped me:
"Do Not Worry
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
-Matthew 6:25-34
Alles liebe,
~Julia~
Monday, January 4, 2010
And Now for Something Completely Different
**this was written about a week ago, but I never finished it... so I'll have to pick up from there in another post... but here's the story so far!**
I’m currently sitting on a train on my way back to Oldenburg from Flensburg after visiting my fifth (and hopefully final) family. I’m in one of those little rooms with a door, and was first in but closely followed in by a sketchy looking guy who asked me how far I was going on the train. Memo to sketchers and really anyone it may concern: do not sit in a confined room if you are going to fart copiously. I am seriously considering leaving and going to a place without a power outlet, especially since I don’t even need it right now.
Anyway, quite a few things have happened since the last time around. First let’s explain the last post:
I’ve been different kinds of sick for the last five weeks. At first it was just a head and chest cold, and then I got a fever. Then it got a little better, but then I got another fever in addition to headache, sore throat, and ear aches. I went to the doctor and he gave me antibiotics, and then I went on my first family-visiting to Munich and Frankfurt. This past week I’ve had three or four fevers (the highest was 102.4 or so) and the headaches, sore throat, and ear aches are back. The worst of it, however, is that I am SUPER congested and can’t really breathe through my nose at all (except of course now that I’m in a train compartment with Farty over there). Anyway, the night of the 23rd I only got four hours of sleep and woke up at 6 am from lack of breathing through my nose. I called my Dad to ask if he had any helpful suggestions, and then around 6:30 I heard Frank and Esther, so I thought I’d go downstairs and ask them if they had any ideas for a super stuffy nose.
As I was getting up to leave to go back upstairs, Esther brought up a situation that had happened the evening before (I said something to Esther, which Esther originally agreed with but when Sara whined, Esther gave in. I said “But that’s exactly what I told her she couldn’t do” –which I had already explained to Esther. Esther said “She needs to learn it’s uncomfortable” to which I said “She needs to learn not to get what she wants all the time,” to which Esther said “She doesn’t always get what she wants.”) Esther’s problem with the situation was only that I should’ve said it in English and not in German, but as Esther had brought the situation up and I was feeling sick and was on limited sleep, I took the opportunity to tell them how I’ve been feeling. I told them that right now it’s really hard for me to figure out where my line is with the kids, and in the house in general, now that we’ve decided I’m leaving. I told them that I feel like I can’t even say anything to the kids anymore, and to boot I don’t really have a lot of time with them at all. I told them that I do not feel like I am an Au Pair anymore, but I feel like I’m a “putzfrau” and occasional babysitter. Although this is really how I feel, regardless of sleep levels, this was really upsetting to Esther. She said “Das stimmt nicht, das stimmt GAR nicht” (that’s not true, that’s not true at all”) and I told her that all I really do is clean the house, and once in a while I’m with the kids. She pulled out the schedule and pointed out all the times she has me with the kids… the only big times I’ve been with the kids in the last several weeks was this last weekend because Esther and Frank were gone overnight and at the beginning of the month when Esther and Frank took a little vacation together for three days. I pointed out that, while those times with the kids were really great, otherwise it’s really only an hour here and there- take them to kindergarten, pick them up, put them to bed. I also told them that when Esther has scheduled for us to have time together with the kids, it’s hard for me to want to do it, especially because it often turns into Julia being with the kids so Esther can do something else (one particular occasion I decided to skip out on cookie baking and Esther was upset because she wasn’t able to get something else done in the meantime… even though it was supposed to be the both of us together, she wasn’t planning on having it that way, anyway).
Honestly, whenever there are chanced for me to be alone, I go for it. If I’m not scheduled to be with the kids, I tend to just keep to myself- it’s REALLY hard to try and integrate myself into a situation that we’ve admitted doesn’t work. I tried to explain it’s the same thing in the evenings- I’m not really playing games with them or watching movies with them because it’s hard and uncomfortable. I’m not saying it’s the right thing to do, but it’s the easier thing to do, and at this point I don’t think it’s the worst thing I could do. Esther had said she couldn’t figure out why I had been pulling away when she had been going farther out of her way to be nice, which I HAD noticed. It’s not that I’m being mean, but I’m not being as open as I was before… and as far as I can see, I’m not sure why I should be otherwise.
Then Frank spoke up and said he was angry because the other night when I got back from my language class, I went straight into my room when I supposed to be on with the kids- who were SUPPOSED to be in bed, but somehow even though it was 8:00 Esther and Frank hadn’t managed it yet (makes me SO MAD- I ALWAYS have the kids in bed within 15 minutes of their bedtime, 7:00. Why am I the only one capable of doing this? It’s in the best interest of the kids, which is why I go out of my way to make sure it gets done.) I went straight to my room because I had a phone date and I didn’t feel like trying to fake a conversation with them. Anyway, after being in my room for a few minutes, Frank came into my room to remind me that they were leaving and I was going to be alone with the kids. Then I heard Simon crying, and even though I knew Esther was there with him, I decided to go in and offer to take over. As I went in, Esther had Simon on her arm and he was complaining that she was leaving. She explained that she was going to a birthday party, and as she was trying to explain calmly to him about how when it’s his birthday again he can invite whoever he wants (not sure there relevance or comfort there) but he wasn’t listening, so then she lost her temper and yelled at him for not listening... making him cry more. Nice. So, as she was using her own parenting techniques to deal with the situation, I went back into my room.
Apparently, after Esther went downstairs, Simon followed after her. The only thing I knew is that Esther came and knocked on my door and said she wanted it to be open so I could hear Simon if he went downstairs. I told her no, I preferred for my door to be closed because I was going to have a phone date, and besides that I can usually hear when the kids stand up. (Seriously, it happens all the time where I stop what I’m doing and go and check on the kids and make sure they’re in bed and not running around.) As I was saying this to Esther, she closed the door. I found it rude that she would do this as I was speaking, but she didn’t say that Simon had already gone downstairs- I had no idea, and in addition they were still home. I’m not saying I was in the right, but I AM saying that sometimes the kids are really quiet and you can’t hear them AND that I’m not perfect. Anyway, the fact that I had made this mistake of not hearing a very light footed three year old really pissed Frank off. He said that that as far as he is concerned, this situation isn’t working out AT ALL anymore. Esther said she didn't feel that way, but had no idea I was so frustrated. I agreed with Frank and said that it was completely clear things weren't working out, and that I couldn't get out of this house fast enough.
**Okay, end of what I had written. I will attempt to go from there in a less tangenty following post**
A Short, Sweet Thing of the Past
Why does updating a blog have to feel like so much gal-darn work? You’d think it wouldn’t be such a big deal to log on and write a little every once in a while, and yet somehow I never take the time to get around to it. Not like you’re all thriving on my every move, but frankly there’s a good amount going on at the moment that would justify more frequent updates. My bad.
To make things easier, I’m going to separate things into two different posts. That way it will hopefully be less overwhelming to read. Just remember, no matter how overwhelmed you are by reading, I can assure you it is far more overwhelming as a way of life.
SO- before I start updates on the last few chaotic weeks of my life, let’s face facts- I ain’t neva gonna update about Munich and Austria in as much detail as they deserve… so here are the bullet points:
- We managed to mob our way into the Hofbräuhaus in Munich where we magically found a table big enough for all of us outside on the balcony. We were stationed next to a group of Irishmen, and had lots of beer (well, the people I was with at least). The sheer amount of lederhosen, dirndels, and drunken good cheer was delightfully impressive.
-We were supposed to have a table inside the Löwenbrau tent, but they rejected the credit card due to “unusual activity” so we sat outside the tent, instead. The consensus was that we were better off, seeing as we could hear one another. The tents were also delightfully full of drunken good cheer, lederhosen, and dirndels, along with a brass band. It was unbelievably hot (especially for late September) so I walked around in my undershirt tanktop. I even managed to get down one Radler (light beer mixed with Sprite)… even if it did take me about two hours.
-Austria is quite possibly the most beautiful country in the world… not like I’ve seen the rest of the world to compare, but after seeing Austria I feel like it’s no contest. I can’t believe people get to live there.
-The first night when they picked me up from the train station, we wandered around Salzburg. It was absolutely beautiful, and it was fun to see all the architecture and history of the city.
-Margarita and Gottlieb (my brother-in-law’s parents) have a beautiful house in the beautiful mountain town of Ramsau am Dachstein. Every morning I woke up and looked out the window to see the fields of cows and never-ending rows of mountains, and couldn’t help but sing “O What a Beautiful Morning” (who knew “Oklahoma!” would be so applicable in Austria?)
-I bought a dirndel! Not because I need one, but because DARN IT I wanted one!
-I got to go on two hours walks (almost) every day with Margarita and their dog, Dinka. We just wandered around the mountainside and enjoyed good conversation and God’s good green Earth :)
-Gottlieb and Margarita took me to several different lakes, so I got to see a few different little towns including Hallstadt. Again, just about everything in Austria is picturesque.
Update of my life to come... shortly...
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Pray Hard
I will update later (promise, I've even started one) but I just really need to ask you all to pray for me right now. Things came to an un-pretty pass this morning and I'm not sure how I can continue to live in this house for the next few weeks. Please pray for healing and REST (I've been sick for a month solid now), but most importantly pray that God will comfort and guide me. I need him as my Heavenly Father now more than ever, so please pray that he leads me... or I guess more so that I follow- whether I see the way the path turns or not.
Please pray hard.
Please pray hard.
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